The Spiral Path: What 15 Years Taught Me

The Spiral Path: What 15 Years Taught Me

A colleague asked me to write about profound turning points in my spiritual path. When I said I've been consciously on this journey for about 15 years, he replied: "Well, then you should definitely have several experiences that made a huge change in your perception of life. I'm asking you to share that wisdom."

It really made me think and feel deeply into my aha moments. His gut feeling was right - during those 15 years I have gone through many extraordinary experiences and all of them have left their marks. Same time it's really difficult to bring out one or a few and say: "Those were the moments that changed everything."

Doing that I would possibly devalue more subtle teachings that life gave me in other ways. I have noticed that I tend to remember "fireworks" cause they have an emotional charge and forget what was written between the lines - the real wisdom of heart, that can't be put into words.

The Spiritual Experience Junky

I have to admit that I have been a spiritual experience junky - someone who is always ready for the next hit, even if I'm actually not. I have used my fear as a jumping board. People close to me often describe me as a person who loves to jump into the unknown. I would not say that I love it, I have done it a lot, cause I have been frightened to stay where I was.

Jumping just has always looked like an easier solution and I believe that it helps me to get rid of fear. To be honest, it doesn't, it just helps me to move. Fear comes sooner or later again, attacks me when I least expect it and strangles like never before. I have kept running and hoped it won't catch up with me. Illusion, it always does.

The Rubber Band Effect

The start is always wonderful. It's like falling in love with somebody. You get all the fireworks in the beginning. You feel so much, so excited, so full of all possibilities. Same time so sure that this time this is the "right thing" and you can say bye-bye to all past hardships and pains.

I would say from my experience that starting launch allows us to have a peek into possible potentiality, but everything we left there from where we flew off, does not stay there. It is attached to us with a rubberlike cord, but it just starts moving a little after we are gone. When it moves, then it does it with such great speed that whenever we slow down, it hits us from behind. Mostly it is a really painful collision.

Here is the point that 15 years of self-discovery has taught me. Whenever something hits You, don't run. Stay afoot. Open your ears and see. Open your eyes and really listen. Open your heart and deeply feel, no matter how difficult it feels. It goes over, sooner or later. The more present you are with it, the sooner it does.

Just do not move, because this is the only way you are going to really learn. This will take you beyond what you think you know or are able to perceive. Only that has real value.

Your Only Real Teacher

You can forget about all the wisdom you learned from books and tales of other people. Your own personal experience is the only teacher to follow. And I'm not talking here about the tales your mind runs about the experience, that is mostly the repetition of learned stories. I mean the real experience that you have felt through, with your heart and body.

When it really goes through, it lets go of the pain caused as well. If it doesn't go through, the pain stays and hence the stories will stay repeating themselves. It's not here to punish us, it's just here for us to really see what's happening. It's a loving act from the Creator.

The Spiral Truth

After giving it days of consideration I realized what has been the most important ahaa in my own spiritual journey. This realization itself didn't jump to my screen of consciousness in one moment. It took time to digest life and everything that had happened to me. It took time for integration to reach that understanding.

The point is here - spiritual development is not linear happening. It's not climbing a ladder. It's a spiral.

At any point, you can feel that you are back again at the start. In a way you are, and you are not. One thing is for sure - the soft spots you thought were a long time ago solved and done, will come and pay you a visit once in and while. When they do, you often feel even worse than before you started the journey. On those spots, self-compassion is needed.

The Seven Stages of the Path

Where I learned about this non-linearity is from one of my favorite books - "40 Rules of Love" by Elif Shafak. Here are the seven stages on the Path to Truth every soul had to go through in order to attain Oneness:

The first stage is the Depraved Nafs, the most primitive and common state of being, when the soul is entrapped in worldly pursuits. Most human beings are stuck there, struggling and suffering in the service of their ego but always holding others responsible for their continuing unhappiness. If and when a person becomes aware of the ego's abased situation, by starting to work on himself, he can move to the next stage, which in a way is the opposite of the previous one.

Instead of blaming other people all the time, the person who has reached this stage blames himself, sometimes to the point of self-effacement. Herein the ego becomes the Accusing Nafs and thus starts the journey toward inner purification.

In the third stage, the person is more mature and the ego has evolved into the Inspired Nafs. It is only at this level, and not anytime before, that one can experience the true meaning of the word "surrender" and roam the Valley of Knowledge. Anyone who has made it this far will possess and display patience, perseverance, wisdom, and humility. The world will feel new and full of inspiration.

Nevertheless, many of the people who reach the third level feel an urge to dwell here, losing the will or the courage to go further. That is why, as beautiful and blessed as it is, the third stage is a trap for the one who aims higher.

Those who manage to go further reach the Valley of Wisdom and come to know the Serene Nafs. Here the ego is not what it used to be, having altered into a high level of consciousness. Generosity, gratitude, and an unwavering sense of contentment regardless of the hardships in life are the main characteristics accompanying anyone who has arrived here.

Beyond that lies the Valley of Unity. Those who are here will be pleased with whatever situation God places them in. Mundane matters make no difference to them, as they have achieved the Pleased Nafs. In the next stage, the Pleasing Nafs, one becomes a lantern to humanity, radiating energy to everyone who asks for it, teaching and illuminating like a true master. Sometimes such a person can also have healing powers. Wherever he goes, he will make a big difference in other people's lives. In everything he does and aspires to do, his main goal is to serve God through serving others.

Finally, in the seventh stage, one attains the Purified Nafs and becomes Insan-i Kâmil, a perfect human being. But nobody knows much about that state, and even if a few ever did, they wouldn't speak of it.

The stages along the path are easy to summarize, and difficult to experience. Adding to the obstacles that appear along the way is the fact that there is no guarantee of continuous progress. The route from the first to the last stage is by no means linear. There is always the danger of tumbling back into earlier stages, sometimes even from a superior stage all the way down to the first one.

Given the many traps along the way, it is no wonder that in every century only a few people managed to reach the final stages.

The Paradox

Earlier I wrote that your personal experience is the only teacher to follow. Yet I have to admit, that this requires real self-mastery to reach the point where your discernment evolves to the level of accuracy required for leaning only on Your personal experience.

That is why it is inevitable in earlier stages to follow the paths of Great Masters, who managed to reach the final stages on the Path of Truth. They have paved us beautiful paths to discover and realign ourselves on our personal journeys. We can stand on their shoulders.

Only when we are truly ready to take a leap, let go, and fall into our personal manifestation of the highest Grace.

Luckily we are living in a moment of time that many prophecies consider as the time of many awakened ones. This door has never been more widely open than now. Yet at the same time, it requires from us real concentration and trust to walk in balance on the spiral pathway.

Seram